If someone close to you is getting married, you're probably going to want to make a toast at their wedding and show the couple how happy you are for them. But if you've never made a
toast before, and your tongue gets tied and palms get sweaty just thinking about it, you might be looking for some guidance. While what you say on their special day is up to you, there are some common conventions as to how it's said.
- Write the Speech. This is your chance to honor the couple, so don't wait until the night before the wedding to think of what you're going to say. Even if you want to be spontaneous, it's good to have a toast written in case your mind goes blank. The toast should be short, sweet, and personal. A humorous quote or story can add a nice touch, just keep it tasteful. Anecdotes that involve nakedness, drunkenness, or ex-significant others of the couple could make the moment very awkward for yourself, the couple, and the guests!
- Make notes. You might get flashbacks of making presentations in school, but putting notes on index cards really is a good idea, especially if you're not confident in your public speaking abilities. Don't write your entire speech out word-for-word...You don't want to spend the entirety of the toast staring at your index cards and sounding like a robot. Instead, include short quotes or key phrases like "Talk about meeting bride for first time, mention how comfortable they were with each other." The idea is for the note to jog your memory, but the actual wording should be off the top of your head, provided you follow the next step.
- Practice your speech. Get a kitchen timer, a mirror, and an audience (any combination of people and stuffed animals will do, as long as they have eyes and can sit still like attentive wedding guests). Rehearse your speech in its entirety as if you were at the wedding. Modify your index cards as needed. Keep practicing until you feel at ease with the toast.
- Go through all the motions. Imagine where the audience is sitting, for example, and pretend to make gestures and eye contact in that direction.
- Insert strategic pauses to add emphasis. Doing so will also help prevent you from rushing through the speech.
- Keep your speech to around two minutes. If you find yourself talking quickly (which is likely if you're nervous) make a conscious effort to slow down.
- Stand up. Look around and check that all glasses (including yours) are full before making the toast. There should be wine, champagne, or something that looks like wine or champagne in your glass, as toasting with water is offensive in some cultures.
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- Raise your glass to the person you're toasting. While many people associate making a toast with tapping the side of your glass with a utensil, consider that you might damage fine crystal at a formal affair. To play it safe, say "I'd like to make a toast" in a firm voice and wait.
- Announce your relationship to the couple. Some people at the wedding might not know who you are, so making this clear at the beginning will avoid any confusion. Bring your glass down as you start to speak, but continue holding it in one hand (unless you're holding both a microphone and notes).
- Give the speech. Look at the person you're toasting to, but also shift eye contact towards the guests occasionally.
- End the toast on a positive note. Include a formal indication to inform them of the ending of the toast and what to say next. For example: "Let us now toast the happiness of Jill and Jack. To Jill and Jack!" As you say this, wave your glass to all, then tip it towards the person you are toasting to, or clink their glass if you're close enough. Then clink your glass gently with those around you and sip (don't gulp or chug) your drink (wikihow).
